1 00:00:07,04 --> 00:00:11,14 The secret to your best life isn't about eliminating stress it's about getting the 2 00:00:11,15 --> 00:00:16,68 right amount of stress did that just blow your mind well there's more where that 3 00:00:16,69 --> 00:00:19,15 came from where talking with Minas 4 00:00:19,16 --> 00:00:23,98 a Novia founding director of some local biofeedback Institute and she's going to 5 00:00:23,99 --> 00:00:28,28 share with us a unique theory of stress and how we can create strategies for 6 00:00:28,29 --> 00:00:35,12 a better healthier life. Nina I'm so excited because I am stressed out every day I 7 00:00:35,13 --> 00:00:39,39 need you like most people that are walking around that are stressed out sometimes 8 00:00:39,40 --> 00:00:42,67 at the presentations and they say if you don't remember how to get home last night 9 00:00:42,89 --> 00:00:47,53 I'm going to leave before you because that's you just on autopilot that absolutely 10 00:00:47,54 --> 00:00:52,96 happens I have to keep channeling myself and remembering OK where am I because it's 11 00:00:52,97 --> 00:00:58,27 so easy to just zone out on the road and I know it's like my body knows where to go 12 00:00:58,31 --> 00:01:04,58 yes but I don't actually know how you got I had how I got there right right that's 13 00:01:04,59 --> 00:01:05,54 when you know it's in 14 00:01:05,55 --> 00:01:12,12 a cue stress situation so for me and what I do in this theory is I 15 00:01:12,13 --> 00:01:17,06 explain that we're all operating on three levels we're either under stress and 16 00:01:17,07 --> 00:01:21,38 under perform me and so an example of an underperforming person might be the person 17 00:01:21,39 --> 00:01:25,73 sitting next to you at work that is always got time to check social media or 18 00:01:25,74 --> 00:01:32,07 Facebook you thinking have I am working with yes I am working fifteen hours in two 19 00:01:32,08 --> 00:01:36,65 hours just ramping up and this person has all this time and that person that is 20 00:01:36,66 --> 00:01:41,42 underperforming is also creating stress stress is to get you away from 21 00:01:41,43 --> 00:01:47,77 a bear that you see on Colorado but part of it is not Mitt to keep you there 22 00:01:47,78 --> 00:01:50,29 forever right so the fight or flight so 23 00:01:50,30 --> 00:01:55,49 a person that is underperforming in that level will actually create more stress 24 00:01:55,50 --> 00:01:59,01 because what they then need to move into a level of stress is 25 00:01:59,02 --> 00:02:02,17 a goal so goal setting keeps it in 26 00:02:02,18 --> 00:02:07,41 a nice distance between where we are now and where we want to be OK and that level 27 00:02:07,42 --> 00:02:12,54 of energy that dissonance they get says there is just enough to keep us flowing you 28 00:02:12,55 --> 00:02:15,15 keep us moving forward so if you're stagnant and if 29 00:02:15,16 --> 00:02:20,13 a person is stagnant or someone that is managing a person is stagnant then setting 30 00:02:20,14 --> 00:02:25,75 a go helps is the fastest way to get them to that next level setting too much of 31 00:02:25,76 --> 00:02:32,36 a go create stress and burn up. So many goals Yeah I can relate to that one 32 00:02:32,86 --> 00:02:36,81 yes so we want to make sure that it's also what happens when 33 00:02:36,82 --> 00:02:41,80 a person is on the opposite end of that the stress and burnout in you want to 34 00:02:41,81 --> 00:02:46,77 ensure that the person to know is that they can take control back of their life and 35 00:02:46,78 --> 00:02:52,62 know that they're showing up of the most authentic self then that is the way to 36 00:02:52,63 --> 00:02:57,87 bring true balance to what they're doing and what they said they're going to do OK 37 00:02:58,08 --> 00:03:02,09 So if a person still can't get out of that I have initiated what is called D.N.A. 38 00:03:02,95 --> 00:03:08,03 And so I say to them then you go into what is this feel like in my body when I'm 39 00:03:08,04 --> 00:03:14,05 stressed I am not drinking as much water I'm going for the sugary foods I don't 40 00:03:14,06 --> 00:03:19,22 remember how I got home then I always activate in that moment do not activate 41 00:03:19,26 --> 00:03:20,19 D.N.A. 42 00:03:20,19 --> 00:03:27,17 . So you notice in my body this is what it feels like when I'm stressed. So 43 00:03:27,18 --> 00:03:30,95 I want to not activate that behavior I want to activate 44 00:03:30,96 --> 00:03:35,81 a new behavior in research has shown that gratitude is the fastest way to get out 45 00:03:35,82 --> 00:03:42,07 of fight or flight Wow gratitude you don't have to be grateful that I am grateful 46 00:03:42,08 --> 00:03:42,42 to have 47 00:03:42,43 --> 00:03:46,84 a stressed boss that is now stressing me out it doesn't have to be related you can 48 00:03:46,85 --> 00:03:50,03 have a photo a family member and photo of 49 00:03:50,04 --> 00:03:54,99 a child photo of an experience I often ask clients that that I work with to get an 50 00:03:55,00 --> 00:04:00,87 anchor right away so kind of like I've seen I can never what the movie was but I 51 00:04:00,88 --> 00:04:02,89 was watching a movie and they had it was 52 00:04:02,90 --> 00:04:08,60 a taxi driver and in her taxi car him him or her they had a picture of like 53 00:04:08,61 --> 00:04:14,23 a beautiful place that they that they that made them feel good and yes in the visor 54 00:04:14,24 --> 00:04:18,04 and they would look at that right because what we're trying to do is create an 55 00:04:18,05 --> 00:04:21,86 emotional response that's different than the emotional response you have when 56 00:04:21,87 --> 00:04:27,35 you're feeling stressed and that emotional response can then pull you out of that 57 00:04:27,36 --> 00:04:31,64 fight or flight OK so the stress whether it's underperforming you have enough time 58 00:04:31,65 --> 00:04:36,67 to do all the social media when you should be working or optimum level it's just 59 00:04:36,68 --> 00:04:40,64 when things are just clicking you hear people say I was in my zone Yeah that's the 60 00:04:40,65 --> 00:04:45,28 ultimate level of stress and you can exist there every single day or or when you're 61 00:04:45,29 --> 00:04:50,80 stressed out maxed and experience and about to experience or are experiencing 62 00:04:50,81 --> 00:04:54,91 burnout that actually anchor will ground you back into 63 00:04:54,92 --> 00:05:00,18 a space and place that says I modified if like any stressful moment takes you to 64 00:05:00,19 --> 00:05:03,50 a moment as if you are in fact about to be in 65 00:05:03,51 --> 00:05:09,13 a head on collision while your body is PER is is responding to provide safety to 66 00:05:09,14 --> 00:05:14,57 either flee. Or fight it every single time that you're sure so when you don't 67 00:05:14,58 --> 00:05:19,12 remember how you got home you really have been operating in my Fleener my fighting 68 00:05:19,13 --> 00:05:23,18 am I right should I expand to become bigger to fight this or should I shrink to 69 00:05:23,19 --> 00:05:28,96 preserve everything so I can flee it so when you are stressed you all to merely 70 00:05:28,97 --> 00:05:35,97 want to use gravity to pull you out of stress so what about doing nice 71 00:05:35,98 --> 00:05:39,89 things for other people does it work the same way if you just kind of you know 72 00:05:39,90 --> 00:05:41,58 let's say you find 73 00:05:41,59 --> 00:05:45,93 a homeless person and you give them you know you have somebody had just come up 74 00:05:45,94 --> 00:05:50,81 with an idea to have little packets in your car to give to homeless people when you 75 00:05:50,82 --> 00:05:54,27 see them on the street what if you do things like that does that kind of bring you 76 00:05:54,28 --> 00:06:00,05 out of I have not seen acts of kindness really reduce stress at the level that I'm 77 00:06:00,06 --> 00:06:04,15 talking about I'm talking about the stress that Sunni messages from your heart to 78 00:06:04,16 --> 00:06:08,26 your brain to your central nervous system yeah that is communicating to your body 79 00:06:08,27 --> 00:06:13,06 to say either you need to expand to fight this or shrink to become lighter to flee 80 00:06:13,07 --> 00:06:17,98 this OK And so we're really talking about that that the stressful situation and 81 00:06:17,99 --> 00:06:22,56 gratitude can't co-exist in the same space one either has to be dominant or less 82 00:06:22,57 --> 00:06:23,51 dominant So when you're 83 00:06:23,55 --> 00:06:28,65 a spirit of gratitude it really overshadows and since the message is to your your 84 00:06:28,66 --> 00:06:32,60 subconscious mind that oh when I am stressed I'm going to reach back to 85 00:06:32,61 --> 00:06:35,55 a moment in time that pulls me out of this it's 86 00:06:35,56 --> 00:06:39,22 a personal experience and it stops that fight or flight up the central nervous 87 00:06:39,23 --> 00:06:46,06 system OK beautiful so before we go what's one really great tip for for people 88 00:06:46,07 --> 00:06:50,94 to maintain that sense of gratitude or you know have that reminder of gratitude 89 00:06:50,98 --> 00:06:55,49 throughout the day as they're feeling stressed so I use this every single day I 90 00:06:55,50 --> 00:06:59,63 sometimes cheat with devices they tell me if I'm stressed or not but when I can 91 00:06:59,64 --> 00:07:04,04 have access to that I teach myself I've taught myself and I teach my clients to 92 00:07:04,08 --> 00:07:05,11 actually do 93 00:07:05,12 --> 00:07:09,76 a breathing technique to connect to that breath that is heart centered because your 94 00:07:09,77 --> 00:07:13,58 heart has. An intelligence center that is sending messages to your brain more than 95 00:07:13,59 --> 00:07:18,33 your brain to your body and so I connect that to that breath and I I say personal 96 00:07:18,34 --> 00:07:25,26 my mantra is I am grateful for the opportunity to sit with Christ Oh I 97 00:07:25,27 --> 00:07:29,14 love that I am grateful for the safety of 98 00:07:29,18 --> 00:07:35,29 a safe marriage I am grateful for and I do that until I start to feel the stress 99 00:07:35,30 --> 00:07:39,82 just melt away you can use that technique of gratefulness in the Montreaux and I 100 00:07:39,83 --> 00:07:45,50 hold an anchor with me often for any situation that could be work related and you 101 00:07:45,51 --> 00:07:50,89 can say I am grateful for this thing I also use it out and breathe it out and I 102 00:07:50,90 --> 00:07:56,50 also use foresight every single day to say what was I grateful for today in the 103 00:07:56,51 --> 00:08:01,52 morning I say What am I grateful for. And I say What am I What was I grateful for 104 00:08:01,53 --> 00:08:05,25 today in the morning I say would Am I grateful for today and I choose one thing 105 00:08:05,29 --> 00:08:09,34 yeah because I don't want to burn myself out right so you just pick one I pick one 106 00:08:09,35 --> 00:08:13,36 focal point and then I am grateful if I can find something to use that in no matter 107 00:08:13,37 --> 00:08:19,09 what I'm doing beautiful thank you so much thank you thank you all raise.